its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
