Have you finally orgasmed yet?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize