is your mom at the bar?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
