Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
