I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
