Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I didn't notice because vodka
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drunk is not a location!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
