ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
