Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
