you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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