Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
