the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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