Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize
