this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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