I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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