i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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