if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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