The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
