I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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