she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
