As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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