So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
