We're like a lot better than the average bears
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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