You kept calling me your small dog last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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