Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
