did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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