i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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