Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
