Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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