I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
