the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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