He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
