Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
