So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
