he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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