can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
