let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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