My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
