Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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