i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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