So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize