Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
