Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
