Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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