I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
