if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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