That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
