What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
