I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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