he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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