"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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