Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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