he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is wine microwaveable?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
