if i can run in heels then i can drive
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
