It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
