Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize