Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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