butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
