I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
