dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Someone came in the potted fern
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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