every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
